" In war we realise what we are made of “

I have recalled the lore of forgetting and the enchantment of his discretion - here I am depriving pleasure from a sensory property.

What about me ?

“ The attainment of becoming one with God “

How is one able to guide what one is not.

Converse about what one has not seen ?

My first encounter occured when I was three years old. I soon would found out hospitals would have their significance in my life. Just as suffering & death. From the places of abode the vision came amid my spirit & womb which sealed my soul into eternity. I beared a co - operation, one he hide all my life. My life was not my own.

Amid the cross`s vocation and his new Kingdom lies a vast distance which would normally require more than a lifetime to bear but God has made me do it with the speed of lightening. No one just sees the father. As he is concealed in his mysteries - his requirements in order to penetrate the heart of the new Heavens are tremendous. I saw a life of continous excessive life & death events. Continous ambush in both natural - and supernatural threatened my safety daily. The injustice of miscomprehension & the unbeareable sacrificial decisions I had to make. God gains thru loss. Out of every corner they came up to me. These hells created my destiny but was a thief of my own female humanity.

I have been the miracle. Hit by cars, walked after. Survived death while already left. Trials, tests & tribulations. On the surface it may have looked it was an affair of my humanity but God had his own labors stirring interior in me.

Creating defilements so Jesus could use them to purify defilements normally inacccessible. Labors necessary to passively purify the soul & hold both his intellect & power similarly. Synchronize his conscience. His body in order to capture his rays of light so it would be sufficiently purified & synchronized to entry the new antechambers. As the word became flesh ; he made use of my vessel to materialize my spiritual authority.

Every level had it`s ` beast ` in good & evil. In supernatural as natural. The last years he made use of Emdr the actively purify the soul & expand it further into his spirit. It has been a narrow weary journey but God is unable to be found in the Bible.

The martyr`s crown under the thorns of passion is my Kingdom. The Kingdom of the new Heavens, his but because of it it came under my humbled sovereignity.

By resilience I have fought the endless battles. Wrote history thru his destiny but it was honor which drove me.

For love & the kind of woman I long to be I remain devoted.

God, I love you this is yours.